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Last time, Jenny Eighties moved into a house in upwardly mobile Belladonna Cove, met Luiz Campbell, married him, and then proceeded to get pregnant. We left off with Jenny going into labor in the World's Tiniest Bathroom.

My screen capping skills were severely limited by the World's Tiniest Bathroom, but trust me when I tell you she had twins, a boy with Jenny's blue eyes and a girl (shown here) with Luiz's green eyes. The kids are named Jack and Diane, after John Cougar Mellencamp's 1982 hit of the same name. I'm so, so sorry if this gets stuck in anyone's head.

Immediately after giving birth, Jenny cheerfully embarks on her new career in the food industry! Luiz was chosen as the primary caregiver for the children. This is a frightening concept, but it is an ISBI.

Some really fun looking townies wander by the house. I'm going to marry this gal into this legacy if it's the last thing I do! Oh yes, Asuka Hyde, you will be mine!

Jenny calls home to check on the kids (at least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!). I'm pretty sure Luiz was re-enacting the scene from Risky Business instead of looking after the kids. Why else would he be in his drawers in the middle of the day? (And see, not all music in the 80's was awesome. Some of it was Bob Segar. God help us all.)

Meanwhile, the poor children are stuck in their cribs, stinking to high heaven.

Luiz: What is that annoying noise coming from upstairs...? Ugh, maybe if I play louder, I can drown it out...

Parent of the year, our Luiz.

Jenny is forced to go on diaper duty the minute she gets home from work.

At least she gets some bonding time with her infants. She's a modern career woman! She can have it all! (This is Jack, by the way.)

Luiz: Awesome, thanks for making dinner, babe! That's rad!

Jenny: Modern career woman, having it all, my ass!

Jenny is the first to wake up and feed the babies in the morning, too. She does it all!

She and Luiz have A Discussion outside so as not to wake the children. The gist of it is that if he doesn't start helping more around the house and with the kids, he will wish he was dead.

Jenny is a fairly attentive mother. She cuddles the babies a lot.


But hooray! He feeds Diane first, before attending to his own needs! Could he be learning?

Jenny noticed his good behavior, and compliments him on it over their slightly blackened dinner.

The gravity of his current situation descends upon Luiz- he's married to a career woman with twin infants. He certainly looks fairly shell-shocked at the realization that he is now a house husband.

Have fun with that, Mr. Mom!

The fluffy stray dog returns!

The twins fortunately have a fairly uninteresting infancy... and soon it's time for birthdays!

Jack gets to go first in the arcane baby-flinging ritual!

He's really got his mom's eyes.

Also, his mom's nose. He's kind of an awkward looking toddler. Hope he grows into those lips!

Mere minutes after becoming a toddler, Jack is splashing in the toilet. Just like a real toddler!

Diane is next, and she grows up into an appropriately big 80's hair-do. True 80's hair is always Big Damn Hair. How do you think we got that hole in the ozone layer?

Diane also seems to have her mom's nose. And also slightly awkward features. Where could she be heading so quickly?

Of course, to the most fascinating thing in the house: the toilet. Where on earth are their parents while this toilet water extravaganza is going on?!

Oh, they're totally doing it. And Luiz has somehow managed to lose his virginity again. Guess he's been listening to too much Madonna.

At least Luiz and Jenny can tear themselves apart long enough to put Diane to bed in her crib.

Jack is not as lucky- fortunately, dog beds work perfectly well for sleepy toddlers.

Morning means screaming to an incredibly fussy Diane.

Luiz is obviously too busy to go get her out of her crib- after all, there's WEATHER outside!

The brunt of child-rearing falls to Jenny. Sure, she has to work a cruddy fast food job at the mall and is on her feet for eight hours at a time, but those kids aren't going to bathe themselves!

At least Luiz can make some breakfast. He can't clear the plates away, but he can make more dishes!

Jack is an unhappy baby. He needs some nurturing!

Unfortunately, his father has discovered painting. And needs to concentrate on his artistic vision! (I sold the piano, because I could no longer stand the endless concertos. Yes, yes, I am worse than Salieri.)

Jenny would nurture him, but it's time for her to head in to work. Sorry Jack, but boys don't cry.

Poor little Diane gets so exhausted, she can't even crawl over to the dog bed in the living room and passes out on the floor.

Jack is a melancholy baby. Even the xylophone doesn't cheer him up.

Luiz tries to wash his cares away with bubble baths. Living in an ISBI is hard!

Jenny at least is in a good mood- she gets a new job in a family restaurant! No longer will she have to sling hash and hotdogs in the fast food mines! She will have to wear a lot of "flair" however. And sing a non-copyright-infringing version of "Happy Birthday" to obnoxious parties.

She celebrates her good fortune by mauling Luiz.

She makes dinner and devours it ravenously... Luiz continues work on his masterpiece, leaving his food to get ice cold. Mark my words, he will complain about hunger later.

After dinner, Jenny spends some quality time with Diane.

Meanwhile, Luiz can't figure out what smells so god-awful. That would be your son, Jack. Maybe you should change him or bathe him!

Jenny cheerfully goes off to work at her new job the next day. Hopefully, she has enough "flair" on, so she won't get in trouble for not having enough "spirit".

Before she goes, she engages the services of a nanny. Will this nanny be a good nanny?

The answer to that 64-million-dollar question is "NO!", as the first thing she does is wet herself in the nursery, right next to the crib. Thanks, lady, that's hygienic.

AwfulNanny doesn't kill the children, at least. But she does surprise Jenny and Luiz right when they are getting amorous! Yeah, that's not creepy at all, staring at them all dead-eyed like that...

She only acts shocked after getting a good eyeful. Lady, you're easily 75 years old, you must have seen more shocking things than that before. Either that or you are a perfect candidate to join in the PMRC.

I think I've figured out a corollary- whenever Jenny sleeps with Luiz, he becomes a marginally better parent, post-woohoo. Quick, Jenny, sleep with him some more! Your children's lives depend on it!

Luiz CLEANED. By himself! Seriously, Jenny needs to make sure to woohoo with him right before work every day.

Luiz is actually Being a Father. And not doing too badly at it, unless you count throwing Diane through the ceiling as a negative. (It's the return of Random Baby Endangerment!)

Their local repairman is one bad mother-- shut your mouth! Hey, I'm just talking bout the repairman!

AwfulNanny manages to tend to the children somewhat normally for the rest of their toddlerhood. Beggars can't be choosers!

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, it's time for the kids to have a birthday! Jack goes first!

Jack leaps into childhood!

Hmm. I'm still not sure if he's grown into his features. His eyes are a little intense!

And poor kid, first thing he does after having his birthday cake is have an accident. Well, no one taught him any of his baby skills.

Diane's birthday is next. Her mom and by now very stinky brother look on with excitement!

Jack can't be bothered to finish watching his sister's birthday, he's exhausted. And stinky! It's all too much.

Diane also managed to wet herself as soon as she was a child. But unlike her brother, she immediately went and took a bath. Good girl!

She still grew up badly, so she is filled with rage! Diane SMASH! (No toddler skills learned by this kid, either. Alas!)

The second bedroom upstairs is redecorated and furnished for the twins. Dragons are cool! They can totally play D&D in there if they want.

Of course, even though they have perfectly good brand new beds upstairs, Diane and Jack end up sleeping on the couches in the living room. Ah, ISBI families!

And that's all for this update! Here's hoping the twins can get to their teen years with a little less neglect, now that they're a bit more mobile and sentient. Thanks for reading, and comments are love. ^_^

Missed a chapter? Part 1


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 5th, 2011 05:14 pm (UTC)
What's up with Asuka's skin tone? Is she part reptile or something? o_O
Jan. 5th, 2011 10:54 pm (UTC)
Ha, I don't know! It's one of the various fantasy skins I downloaded, in case I wanted to make demons or elves or aliens or whatever. But they are geneticized like my "normal" skins too, so they keep spawning on the randomly generated townspeople. I find it amusing!

I'm going to say she's some kind of half-human-half-demon girl. She's probably got a tragic backstory about breaking out of hell and trying to have a normal life. Except for the crazy skin of course. XD
May. 2nd, 2012 08:23 am (UTC)
So far so good, no Social Worker, despite AwfulNanny. And the (mostly) useless father. Hang on in there, kiddies!
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )